Friday, July 25, 2008


My junior year of college I roomed with three fellows in a small apartment.

One roommate, Mark, had a short temper. He knew he had a short temper, however, and was constantly trying to keep it in check. You could tell how much any given struggle was costing him by the shade of red or purple his face was turning.

Another roommate, Wes, was a finicky fellow awash in quirky mannerisms. He was frequently oblivious to the effects his quirks produced in people.

One day Wes was watching TV. Rather, he was skimming through channels at break-neck speed courtesy of the remote control (to a generation later this might have been called Extreme Television Watching).

As it happened, Mark of the Short Temper was in the room, and the rapid rate of channel changing was causing his blood to boil. At last, unable to keep silence, but hoping to say something constructive rather than decapitate his roommate, Mark blurted out:

"Wes, in my journalism class we would call someone who watches TV like that a 'Grazer'!"

Wes had no idea what Mark was talking about. Turning around, The Finicky One tilted his head and let out the universal standby response for situations like this:

At this point I offered an observation.

"I guess you could say then that, to watch television is human, but to change channels is bovine."

In omnibus requiem quaesivi, et nusquam inveni nisi in angulo cum libro.

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