Saturday, September 10, 2011

Babies in Space

A friend of mine was exasperated because a persistent chap wouldn't quit asking her out. She'd politely but clearly said no many times, and he kept on calling. Aggravated, she sent me a tongue-in-cheek text message asking if she should just tell the guy she had a boyfriend so that he would leave her alone.

Don't do that, I texted back. Say no, and stay firm. Telling a lie just complicates things, and can also lead to bigger problems later that aren't worth the temporary relief. I added that she should seek a bit of extra moral support from her friends to weather the storm.

It was the right thing to say, and my friend knew it. She hadn't been serious after all; she was just blowing off steam. Sensing an opportunity to bring a bit of levity to the grim campaign, however, I embellished.

Never lie, I continued. But if you did want to color the facts, show some originality. "I already have a boyfriend" is old and hackneyed; at least try to have some fun with it.

For example, start wearing an engagement ring. If anyone asks, say, "I can't talk about it."

Tell the guy you seem to suffer from amnesia. Add that you're not sure, but you think you might already be married.

Tell him you're thinking about being a mail-order bride, and ask if he'll serve as a reference.

Say that you want to be the first woman to have a baby in space.

No problems were solved with that string of suggestions, but my friend got a few laughs out of it.

Mission accomplished Houston.

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