Sunday, April 5, 2009

100 Prayers for Father

Palm Sunday

In 1959 Pulitzer Prize-winning Mount Holyoke professor Peter Viereck commented that "Catholic baiting is the anti-Semitism of the liberals" (i.e. American liberal intellectuals).

The success of Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code -- a badly-written novel that has all the historical integrity of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion -- is evidence of the point.

The individuals who are the easy and obvious targets for anti-Catholic and anti-clerical sentiment, with their uniform-like cassocks and white collars, are the parish priests. At least the priests have the fortitude to dress for battle.

If he is happy - he is a nuisance.

If he is grave and austere - he is bad tempered.

If he is handsome - why didn't he marry?

If he is ugly - nobody loved him.

If he is fat - he eats too much.

If he is thin - he is stingy.

If he is tall - he looks down on people.

If he is short - he looks like an altar boy.

If he owns a car - he likes material things.

If he walks - he is old fashioned.

If he goes to the cafe - he is a drunkard.

If he stays in the rectory - he is an introvert.

If he visits the faithful - he meddles in other peoples business.

If he stays in the Church - he doesn't care about the faithful.

If he visits the poor - he is a revolutionary.

If he delegates duty - he is lazy.

If he controls the activities - he is a tyrant.

If he teaches catechism - he is obsessed with hell.

If he doesn't teach - he doesn't like children.

If he preaches long sermons - he's boring.

If he preaches short sermons - he doesn't want to get tired.

If he makes comparisons with the life in the world - he blasphemes.

If he raises his voice - he screams.

If he speaks normally - you cannot understand what he says.

If he talks about Heaven - he is a modernist.

If he talks about hell - he is a Jansenist.

If he talks about the cross - he is an integrist.

If he asks for donations - he is greedy.

If he doesn't ask for donations - his bank account should be checked.

If he doesn't organize a party - the parish is dead.

If he speaks to the parishioners after Mass - he is not pious.

If he stays to pray after Mass - he is not interested in his parishioners.

If he keeps people in the confessional too long - he gets people tired and causes scandal.

If he hears confessions quickly - he does away with the Sacrament.

If he starts Mass on time - his watch is ahead.

If he fixes up the Chapel - he wastes people's money.

If he doesn't fix up the Chapel - he doesn't care about the Chapel.

If he looks after the youth - he wants them in the convent.

If he looks after the married couples - he does not care about vocations.

If he is young - he lacks experience.If he is old - he should retire.

If he is in between - he is in a critical age.

Do as he may - or even if he does nothing - he will never be right!

But if he leaves who will take his place?*

So starting next Easter Sunday I'll begin a new campaign: for 100 days -- from April 12 through July 21 -- I'll offer a daily rosary for my parish priest, for the Pope, and for all the priests from whom I have received the sacraments. You're invited to join me with a daily prayer of your own.

Hoc est bellum.

* My apologies for the lack of attribution on this list of Ifs; it's just something that made its way to my in-box one day. If someone can provide the source I'll gladly give credit.


Tonya R Pinyan said...

Hey Sean,
That was a wonderful blog and the 100 days of prayer for Father is a great idea! Just think of all the good that will happen for God and His Holy Catholic Church! I will be joining you in prayer.

In Christ,
Tonya R. Pinyan

Anonymous said...

Hi Sean,

I think this is a wonderful idea, thank you for starting this!


Elizabeth P. Clarke

Kindred Spirit said...

What a good idea! I'll pray along with you, Sean, for these excellent intentions. May God bless you.

Rose Blue said...

Lead on MacDuff, I'm right behind you. Have added my intentions to daily Rosary for the duration.