Language Abuse

Corporate Speak is an occupational hazard in the business world. Pointless phrases like "it is what it is" and bizarre constructions such as "recycle your interactions by designing rituals and addictions" that epitomize vacant intensity and pseudo-wisdom crop up more frequently than is safe for human consumption.

Sometimes the attempt to come across as spontaneously profound falls flat on its vacuous face. Such is the case I experienced when a fellow I knew declared that he was going to "focus on everything." Now, the point of focusing is to exclude a majority of elements or considerations so as to pay greater attention to those that remain; thus, to "focus on everything" is a contradiction (and not an oxymoron). And contradictions, like mixed metaphors, are imperfections -- i.e. evidence that the speaker or writer has not troubled himself to work out a reasoned remark, but has decided to inflict his incoherent ramblings on his neighbors. The proper response to a nonsensical contradiction (and not a paradox) is to quit paying attention to the rambler post-haste.

Other times Corporate Speak sours expressions that are actually suitable for general use. Recently I heard a professional apologize for using the "marketing jargon" of "dovetail." The term "dovetail," it turns out, is a perfectly legitimate word meaning "to join elegantly or congruently." To persons with an ever-shrinking vocabulary, however, even reasonable words like "dovetail" are beyond the pale, devoid of significance beyond their ability to impress dull listeners conditioned to give Pavlovian responses to Corporate Speak.

One effort at compensation (I have several) is to read extracts from my truncated copy of Dr. Johnson's Dictionary. Consider:
* Kiss: Salute given by joining lips
* Puppet: A wooden tragedian
* Stockjobber: A low wretch who gets money by buying and selling shares
* Uxorious: Submissively fond of a wife; infected with connubial dotage

Reading a few passages such as these becomes a form of verbal therapy or lexicographical rehabilitation that stimulates the mind numbed by jargon and soothes outraged sensibilities.