Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Bad Egg

Inevitable easy divorce precipitated by casual promiscuity and routine infidelity; children – if they must be mentioned – frequently characterized as an interruption of adult epicurean pursuits; an orthodoxy of ennui about the millions of little ones – mostly minorities – chemically and surgically evacuated and discarded annually; the mothballed institution of polygamy soon to be aired out under cover afforded by official same-sex arrangements; the creation and sustenance of life axiomatically denigrated or even banished in pursuit of the pleasures of life.

Well, no doubt one must discard a few old-fashioned eggs to concoct a progressive cholesterol-free omelet. In fact, I'm reminded of the chestnut about how we've seen progress of this variety before in an egg - it's called "going bad."

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Bip Called

Sometimes when marketers telephone your house they rely on robots to dial your number. When the machine on their side detects a human voice on your side after you pick up, the call is quickly routed to a human on the marketer's side who can carry on a conversation with you.

I say quickly, but the truth is that there is a moment's lag while the switching takes place. It's not a terribly long time, but it is enough to tip off the person being called.

This moment of silence at the beginning of many marketing calls happens sufficiently often that I have a gag for it: I say that I have the ghost of Marcel Marceau on the line, and I've given such interactions the descriptor of "Mime Calls."

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Prayer to St. Joseph for the Spirit of Work

Feast of St. Joseph

Pope St. Pius X composed this prayer to St. Joseph, patron of working people, that expresses concisely the Christian attitude toward labor. It summarizes also for us the lessons of the Holy Family's work at Nazareth.

Glorious St. Joseph, model of all who devote their lives to labor, obtain for me the grace to work in a spirit of penance in order thereby to atone for my many sins; to work conscientiously, setting devotion to duty in preference to my own whims; to work with thankfulness and joy, deeming it an honor to employ and to develop by my labor the gifts I have received from God; to work with order, peace, moderation, and patience, without ever shrinking from weariness and difficulties; to work above all with a pure intention and with detachment from self, having always before my eyes the hour of death and the accounting which I must then render of time ill spent, of talents wasted, of good omitted, and of vain complacency in success, which is so fatal to the work of God. All for Jesus, all through Mary, all in imitation of you, O Patriarch Joseph! This shall be my motto in life and in death, Amen.

St. Joseph

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Habemus Papum

Prayer for the Sovereign Pontiff

V. Let us pray for Francis, our Pope.

R. May the Lord preserve him, and give him life, and make him blessed upon the earth, and deliver him not up to the will of his enemies. (Ps 40:3)

Our Father, Hail Mary

O God, Shepherd and Ruler of all Thy faithful people, look mercifully upon Thy servant Francis, whom Thou hast chosen as shepherd to preside over Thy Church. Grant him, we beseech Thee, that by his word and example, he may edify those over whom he hath charge, so that together with the flock committed to him, may he attain everlasting life. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Monday, March 4, 2013

A Tale With Two Morals

From the Old Testament, the Second Book of Paralipomenon, 26:16-18: “He [King Ozias] slighted the Lord his God; into the temple he would go, and there burn incense at the censing-altar. Close at his heels the high priest Azarias entered, and eighty priests with him, strong men all, to withstand the royal will. Not for thee, Ozias, they cried, to burn incense in the Lord’s honor; that is for the priests, the sons of Aaron, that are set apart for this office. Leave this holy place, and profane it no more; thou wilt win no favor from the Lord God by such doings as these…”

Aftermath: Ozias persisted, and was immediately struck by God with leprosy.

Moral 1: A Church’s sanctuary is not the place for laymen who usurp the role of priests.

Moral 2: When a country’s chief ruler intrudes himself unjustly into matters of faith and morals, clerics do well to resist him.

Friday, March 1, 2013

Timely Observation

Lee, on February: "goodbye, longest month of the year."

Sean: "Written like a true English major."